As an IFS IFIO therapist in Los Angeles specializing in couples therapy, I've witnessed firsthand the transformative effects of Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO) on relationships. IFIO therapy, also known as Inside Out Therapeutic or IFS Couples Therapy, goes beyond surface-level communication to delve deep into the core of individual experiences and emotions. In this blog, we'll explore what IFIO therapy is and 3 ways it can transform your relationship.

What is IFIO Therapy?

Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO) therapy is based on the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model by Toni Herbine-Blank. IFIO therapy recognizes that each individual carries within them a complex system of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. Couples can gain insight into their behaviors and patterns within the relationship by exploring these internal dynamics. Additionally, IFIO therapy aims to help couples feel loved, safe, understood, and to build intimacy for their unit of two. This therapy approach is experiential and process-oriented, focusing on the foundational principles of Internal Family Systems therapy.

How IFIO Therapy Can Improve Your Relationship:

1. Deepening Self-Awareness: In IFIO therapy, we start by exploring each partner's internal world. This means delving into their thoughts, feelings, and past experiences that shape their behaviors. By gaining a deeper understanding of themselves, individuals can communicate their needs and desires more effectively. For example, one client I worked with, let's call her Sarah, struggled with expressing her feelings to her partner. Through IFIO therapy, she discovered underlying fears of vulnerability stemming from childhood experiences. As she began to understand and heal these wounds, Sarah found it easier to open up to her partner, leading to greater intimacy in their relationship.

2. Enhancing Communication: Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. IFIO therapy helps couples improve their communication by teaching them to listen and understand each other's internal experiences. I remember a couple, Alex and Jamie, who came to me with constant conflicts over seemingly trivial issues. Through IFIO therapy, they learned to communicate with empathy and curiosity, rather than defensiveness. They started asking questions like, "What part of me is feeling hurt right now?" or "Can you tell me more about the fear behind your reaction?" These questions opened up new avenues of understanding and empathy, leading to more meaningful conversations.

3. Healing Past Wounds: Often, unresolved past wounds can unknowingly affect our present relationships. IFIO therapy provides a safe space for couples to explore and heal these wounds together. I recall a couple, Mark and Emily, who struggled with trust issues due to past betrayals. Through IFIO therapy, they uncovered the parts of themselves that carried pain and mistrust. By working through these issues together, they not only healed individually but also strengthened their bond as a couple.

Factors that influence intimate relationships between couples encompass a wide range of aspects such as intergenerational influences, religious and spiritual beliefs, gender dynamics, sexual preferences, cultural influences, and the burden of legacy. Additionally, the level of connectedness to extended family or a self-made community plays a crucial role in shaping and maintaining intimate relationships.

Three Phases of IFS Couples Therapy

IFIO therapy consists of three main phases that guide the therapeutic process for couples:

• Phase 1, known as the Beginning phase, involves the couple presenting their relationship dynamics, including hopes, goals, challenges, and fears. This is where they are introduced to the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, learning about the potential for positive transformations.

• In Phase 2, called Eddies and Flows, the couple engages in non-linear protocols aimed at establishing secure internal connections while maintaining a secure connection with each other. By identifying and tracking negative cycles within the relationship, they are able to recognize how unmet needs for safety, connection, or love contribute to conflicts. Through this process, partners engage in internal healing work with the support of a compassionate witness.

• The final phase, Phase 3 (Ending), focuses on repair and envisioning the future together. Couples practice resolution and forgiveness, working towards a relationship that acknowledges and embraces differences with love and mutual respect, ultimately forming a shared vision for their future together.

Conclusion

Intimacy From The Inside Out (IFIO) therapy, also known as IFS Couples Therapy, offers a powerful framework for couples seeking to deepen their connection and understanding. As an IFIO therapist in Los Angeles offering Telehealth services and in-person therapy, I have seen the impact it can have on relationships. By delving into your internal world and understanding your partner's, IFIO therapy can transform communication, enhance intimacy, and heal past wounds. If you're searching for "IFS couples therapy near me" or "IFIO therapists Telehealth," or “couples therapy near me” consider reaching out. Together, we can embark on a journey to strengthen your relationship from the inside out.

Feel free to contact me, Lisa Chen an IFIO therapist in California who works with couples and IFS-trained therapist, to learn more about how IFIO therapy can benefit your relationship.