Lost in the American Dream
As a Taiwanese American first generation psychotherapist serving the Hermosa Beach community, I've seen many Asian Americans struggle with the pressures of achieving success and meeting their parents' expectations. Growing up, we were taught that hard work and academic success were the keys to achieving the "American Dream.” We would be forever happy and fulfilled once we hit those milestones. And while those values are not exclusive to the Asian American community, they often come with the added pressure of fulfilling our parents' expectations and making them proud.
As a result, many of us end up pursuing careers that we may not be passionate about, simply because they are deemed prestigious or lucrative by our parents. We pour our heart and soul into achieving success, only to find that we feel unfulfilled and disconnected from our true selves. We begin to wonder if we made the right choices, or if we sacrificed too much in pursuit of our parents' dreams. I only know this too well; after I had achieved external professional success, I was surprised and shocked when happiness and fulfillment didn’t follow.
At my therapy practice in Hermosa Beach, I specialize in helping Asian Americans find fulfillment and meaning in their lives. Here are some tips that have helped me and my clients navigate the pressures of achieving success and meeting their parents' expectations:
Reconnect with your cultural heritage. Our cultural heritage is a vital part of our identity. By learning more about our culture, we can find a sense of grounding and reconnect with the values that are important to us.
Pursue your passions. Don't forget about the things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It's important to make time for the things that make us happy, whether it's pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or finding ways to incorporate our passions into our career. At my therapy practice in Hermosa Beach, I work with clients to explore their passions and find ways to incorporate them into their lives.
Seek support. Talking to a therapist or joining a support group can be incredibly helpful in navigating the pressures of achieving success and meeting our parents' expectations. As a therapist in Hermosa Beach, I provide a safe space for my clients to process their feelings and explore their values and goals. You can schedule a consultation with me to learn more.
Set boundaries. It's okay to say no to opportunities or careers that don't align with our values or interests. Setting boundaries can help us prioritize our mental health and well-being. At my therapy practice in Hermosa Beach, I help clients set healthy boundaries that support their goals and values.
Practice self-compassion. It's easy to be hard on ourselves when we feel like we haven't met our own or our parents' expectations. But it's important to remember that everyone experiences setbacks and that it's okay to make mistakes. Practicing self-compassion can help us be kinder to ourselves and reduce feelings of guilt or shame. I help clients develop self-compassion and self-care practices that support their mental health.
If you may be struggling with the pressures of achieving success and meeting your parents' expectations, know that you're not alone. We can find a sense of fulfillment and meaning in our lives. At my therapy practice in Hermosa Beach, I'm here to support you on your journey toward a more authentic and fulfilling life.
