Deeper Power: How I Work with Highly Sensitive Men
There is a quiet power I often feel when I sit across from a highly sensitive person in therapy. It feels like stepping into a deeper, hidden layer of the world—one where emotions run richly, small details hold meaning, and every experience is richly felt. This kind of depth in one’s mind is beautiful. But it can also be exhausting, disorienting, and isolating—especially in a world that does not seem to have been designed with sensitivity in mind.
As a therapist, I enjoy working with highly sensitive people (HSPs). These individuals often bring a profound sense of insight, empathy, and curiosity into the therapeutic space. According to Lisa Chen, HSPs process information more deeply, experience stronger emotional responses, and are more easily overstimulated by their environment. They are often the people who feel the suffering of others as if it were their own, who notice subtleties in mood and tone, and who find meaning in places others might overlook. Therapy for HSPs is not about removing their sensitivity. It is about helping them work with it, protect it, and recognize it as the unique gift it is.
“Highly sensitive people are often the people who feel the suffering of others as if it were their own, who notice subtleties in mood and tone, and who find meaning in places others might overlook.”
I am especially drawn to working with highly sensitive men. This work can be both challenging and incredibly rewarding. There is something sacred about helping a man unwind the knots of shame and silence he has internalized, and helping him see that sensitivity is not a flaw, but a doorway to depth, purpose, and connection.
Sensitivity and the Weight of Masculine Ideals
“Stop being so sensitive…” I’m sure you’ve heard that insult before, whether directed at you or someone around you. Many men carry shame around being—or being perceived as—highly sensitive. And the roots of that shame run deep. From an early age, boys are conditioned to be stoic, rational, competitive, and proud. They are told that their worth is tied to their strength, their achievements, and their ability to suppress emotion. Even one of my favorite books, The First Law Trilogy by Joe Abercrombie highlights this supposed virtue with the warriors from the North giving the advice of “make of your heart a stone.” Within this framework, sensitivity often becomes something to hide, something that is incompatible with being a “real man.”
I want to be clear that the traditional masculine ideals are not inherently bad. The drive to protect, to provide, to remain grounded and rational—these are powerful and noble traits. Many men naturally embody these qualities, and that embodiment can be deeply fulfilling. However, the problem arises when these roles become rigid, when they crowd out other parts of the psyche, and when sensitivity is seen as incompatible with strength. The truth is, they are not at odds. One can be sensitive and powerful. Vulnerable and grounded. Introspective and resilient.
What Sensitivity Can Look Like in Men
And yet, many men are sensitive. Deeply so. But that sensitivity may not always show up as what we think of as sensitive, such as tears or vulnerability. Often, it looks like anger, withdrawal, irritability, a desire to hide flaws, or feeling overwhelmed by responsibilities. It can manifest as defensiveness, fear of failure, or a sense that life is hollow or devoid of meaning. These are not signs of weakness. They are often signs that a man is carrying more than he knows how to express—and is doing so alone.
A man may not describe himself as emotionally sensitive, but he may feel paralyzed by decisions, overburdened by social obligations, impatient, agitated, or deeply affected by conflict or criticism. He may avoid emotionally charged conversations not because he does not care, but because he cares so much that it overwhelms him. He may struggle with chronic fatigue, numbness, or a sense of being disconnected from himself.
““If a man only feels safe expressing his inner world to one person, it can lead to isolation if he’s single, and to burnout or conflict if he’s in a relationship. No one person can hold all that emotion alone—not even the most loving partner.”
The Lone Wolves and the Overburdened Partners
Another pattern I see is that many sensitive men don’t feel safe being emotionally vulnerable with anyone except their romantic partners. That kind of intimacy can be beautiful—but it can also become a trap. If a man only feels safe expressing his inner world to one person, it can lead to isolation if he’s single, and to burnout or conflict if he’s in a relationship. No one person can hold all that emotion alone—not even the most loving partner.
Part of the healing journey for many HSP men is learning that they don’t have to be alone. That their sensitivity isn’t some private shame to hide—but a shared experience that links them to a powerful, emotionally intelligent lineage of warriors, sages, healers, and protectors. Sensitivity, when owned and nurtured, becomes a superpower. It allows these men to show up in their relationships with depth, courage, and presence. It allows them to lead from the heart. Over time, men can learn to share more of themselves with others, to build emotionally rich friendships, and to access the kind of support that allows them to thrive rather than merely survive.
Reframing the Narrative: From Shame to Strength
One of the most important shifts that can occur in therapy is helping a man reframe the way he sees his sensitivity. I often describe highly sensitive men as introspective psychic warriors—individuals who are not weak, but rather finely attuned. These men often have the capacity to become sages, mentors, healers, and protectors of those who are more vulnerable. Their emotional depth, once seen as a liability, becomes the very thing that allows them to lead with authenticity, presence, and care.
When a man recognizes himself as highly sensitive, it can feel like a homecoming. He realizes that he is not broken or alone, but rather part of a unique and powerful group of people who feel deeply, think deeply, and care deeply. With that realization comes freedom. The freedom to stop pretending. The freedom to explore one’s own needs, limits, and desires. The freedom to love and connect without shame.
How I Work With Highly Sensitive Men
In my work with HSPs—especially highly sensitive men—I focus on de-stigmatizing emotional sensitivity and exploring how it can coexist with strength, masculinity, leadership, and purpose. I help my clients understand their nervous systems, build emotional resilience, and develop practices that ground them in their own values and identities.
This often involves helping men create new definitions of masculinity that are more inclusive, compassionate, and expansive. We explore archetypes like the wounded healer, the philosopher king, the quiet warrior, or the creative sage. We look at the ways men can be both protective and emotionally attuned. We talk about what it means to show up as a role model—not by suppressing emotion, but by embodying a deeper integrity.
We also work with the body—learning how to regulate the nervous system through breath-work, movement, mindfulness, or ritual. For many HSP men, overstimulation can lead to chronic stress or physical symptoms, and building a sense of internal safety becomes a key part of the journey.
Ultimately, I want the men I work with to know that they are not alone. That their sensitivity is not something to be ashamed of, but something to be shaped, honored, and harnessed. I want them to become powerful, grounded leaders—not by becoming someone else, but by fully becoming themselves.
If you have ever felt that you were too soft, too overwhelmed, too emotional, or too disconnected to be “successful” in the world, I want you to know this: sensitivity is not your weakness. It is your calling.
If you are uncertain if you are a Highly Sensitive Person, take this free assessment to find out if you are a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).
If any of this resonated with you, I invite you to book a free 20 minute consultation with me here. I’d love to chat.