What to Expect During Couples Therapy: An Inside Scoop from a Hermosa Beach Couples Therapist
As a Gottman Method-trained and Internal Family Systems IFIO couples therapist in Hermosa Beach, I've seen couples wait six long years before seeking therapy. These years are often filled with frustration, misunderstandings, and a sense of drifting apart. By the time couples arrive at my office, they have built a fortress from their partner and are full of hurt and pain. For some couples therapy may be the last stop before separation, and for others, it is an opportunity to strengthen and fortify their relationship proactively.
In any case, there are a lot of misconceptions about couples therapy that I’d like to address. I've also witnessed the transformative power of couples therapy and believe every couple should attend couples therapy.
The Misconception of Couples Therapy
Many couples I work with initially feel hesitant about therapy, often searching for "Gottman Method couples therapy near me" or "Gottman therapist near me." Some believe they should be able to navigate their challenges alone, while others feel shame about needing outside help. One couple, let's call them Sarah and Michael, came to me with these very thoughts. They had been struggling with communication breakdowns for years, thinking they should have been able to solve things on their own.
What Therapy Is Really Like
I often explain to my clients what couples therapy is like, especially for those searching for "what is couples therapy like" or "what is it like to be in couples therapy." It's not about blame or finding fault. It's a safe space to learn and practice new tools for healthier communication. For Sarah and Michael, this meant learning how to express their needs without triggering defensiveness in each other.
Research shows the effectiveness of couples therapy in improving relationships, which is especially beneficial for those seeking "couples therapy in Hermosa Beach." I've seen couples like Sarah and Michael transform their connection through therapy. They started to communicate more openly, expressing their feelings without fear of judgment. Over time, they reported feeling more understood and connected than they had in years.
What Is My Therapist Assessing For?
As a therapist, my goal is to understand each partner's unique perspective and triggers. I remember a couple, Alex and Jamie, who came to me struggling with constant arguments. Through assessment, we uncovered that Alex's tendency to shut down during conflict triggered Jamie's feelings of abandonment.
The Oral History: Telling 'The Story of Us'
In the first session, I ask couples to share their "story of us." This includes how they met, their happiest memories, and the challenges they've faced. Alex and Jamie's story revealed deep-rooted issues that needed attention. They shared how they had drifted apart after the birth of their first child, struggling to find time for each other amidst the demands of parenthood.
Vent Sessions
Individual sessions, or "vent sessions" as I fondly call them, provide a space for each partner to express their concerns privately. Alex and Jamie used this time to explore their fears and hopes for the future of their relationship. These sessions often lead to breakthrough moments, where partners can be vulnerable without fear of judgment.
The Evaluation and Treatment Plan
By the fourth session, I present an evaluation of the strengths and growth areas in the relationship. For Alex and Jamie, this meant recognizing their strengths in commitment and love for each other, while also acknowledging the need for improved communication and conflict resolution.
Research supports the effectiveness of structured therapy approaches like the Gottman Method, which is ideal for those seeking "couples therapy in Hermosa Beach." Couples who engage in this method often report higher relationship satisfaction and decreased conflict. For Alex and Jamie, learning Gottman's "Four Horsemen" of conflict helped them identify and address destructive patterns in their communication.
A Final Thought on Assessments
While assessment sessions may seem like a slow start, they lay the foundation for meaningful progress. I've seen couples like Sarah and Michael, Alex and Jamie, make significant strides in their relationships by embracing the assessment process.
Conclusion
As a Gottman Method-trained couples therapist in Hermosa Beach, I've witnessed the profound impact of therapy on relationships. Don't wait six years to seek help. Start your journey today, armed with evidence-backed tools and personalized support. Like Sarah and Michael, Alex and Jamie, you can create a stronger, more connected partnership. If you're looking for "Gottman Method couples therapy near me" or a "Gottman therapist near me," consider reaching out to begin your transformative journey today.
